Dear LIB readers: My husband is already cheating 3 weeks after our wedding | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday 5 August 2014

Dear LIB readers: My husband is already cheating 3 weeks after our wedding

From a LIB reader
"I can't talk to anyone. I'm still in shock. I woke up to use the bathroom and my husband's phone was buzzing about 11pm. He was fast asleep as I picked his phone and saw nude pictures of a girl named Tolu who lives in Akure. Apparently he has been begging her to send pictures saying how much he misses her and calling her same pet names he calls me. I feel like I want a divorce already. I don't think I can ever let him touch me again. How do I handle or get past this? Does any one have a cheating husband? Does this get worse? I'm loosing my mind, please advise...

365 comments:

1 – 200 of 365   Newer›   Newest»
Bishop Dammy said...

Dear LIBERS can't we see how fast negative things are happening? I'm sure we just don't read Miss linda's posts and comments! After commenting, do we take out time to reflect on some of the "heart breaking" news that pops up everyday? Even with the great revivalists,prophets and men of God that we have today we are still experiencing disastrous occurrences..are we going to conclude that they are not praying enough? For those of us that have taken LIB as our first and only source of information and news, quote me if am wrong.. Can you count the number of deaths,killings,diseases, and kidnappings that the months of july/august have had? And not to forget that we just started this month!
Don't misunderstand me please, am not preaching here but I really want us to incorcate a regular habit of PRAYING..let every liber know/learn how to pray..pray for your family,your parents,your education,against death,accidents(JUST PRAY AND BE VEHEMENT ABOUT IT). Do You know what God wants now? He wants to see you talk to him because you are his creation, other than leaving it all for the men of God all the time,you can assist also. Just imagine the number of "RIP's" we shared only yesterday! Please friend let's note this and work on it.
Another very big mistake we keep making is that we don't believe God can listen to us concerning our country, but am telling us today that he's tired of us always complaining instead of making positive proclamations Prov 18:21..we don't believe in our country, we are not proud to be Nigerians and we want God to start performing "Magic"? No it doesn't work that way!
The ball is in our court..let's try and get the GOALS. We shall all do exploits in jesus name. Love you. 1 tim 2:1-3
BishopDammy#

Anonymous said...

Mbanu, you are not giving us the full gist. Can you say you never sensed he was a cheat before the wedding? Were you hoping that since he proposed to you that all the others were foregone? What was your relationship with him like before marriage? how long did you date before you married?

Ceeflo said...

Was love ever a factor ? That's just too fast..you should be on your honeymoon! Madam your in really deep mess..it shows he is never going to commit.. You have to talk to God on this one...and discuss it with him also..its too early to quit

Ijanyimitch said...

Take it easy woman, all men cheat

Olubukola Ozone said...

Its obvious he dint just start cheatin on u after ur weddin, he's bin cheatin even befor den. Just dat not livin 2geda wit him has succeded in kipin u d dark for so long. But dats vry unfair of him

Bishop Dammy said...

He can still change. Put him in prayers ok? See don't just read this and overlook it Mrs.. PUT HIM IN PRAYERS not selling ur home to your friends..they can't and won't help u buh even mock you. Then watch yourself if you are doing right at home...in the aspect of cooking, washing, sex, waking early. If you do all these. Yu will get a solution. Psalm 31:10. BishopDammy# imahiadammy@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Omg! Some men and I ask why get married if you know, you still want to play around? My dear sister I dunno what to say cos it's rather to early. First of all pray about it and then confront him, hear what he has to say???? Some men, ass hole! Linda bia why haven't u been posting my comment now... wetin I do you?

Alloy Chikezie said...

Once a cheater, always a cheater, it will take the grace of God for him to change, I think you should bring up the issue with him

Your comment will be visible after approval

whitefalcon said...

My dear, you can't give up on ur marriage so soon,not now,not in the nearest future.
Marriage is for better for worse, forget the fact that divorce is now rampant in our society. My advice to u, is to take it to The Lord in prayer. There's nothing God cannot do. Trust me, u don't want to leave your matrimonial home for some strange woman or women as the case may be.

I wish u God's grace and the best in your marriage. Stay blessed.

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Hmmm this is serious,quite a precarious situation.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Anonymous said...

u selfish woman...ur husband has a side chick...he does things to her hec ant do to you cos ure his wife...


can u send him nudes???

the side babe is just his f*** toy...a man's wife cant be his f*** toy except in exceptional cases which is actually a good thing....

one woman cannot have all the qualities a man desires so he goes round...if u like kill urself for urself....

divorce na...dem go laff u tire...or u think all the men you see on bella naija weddings are faithful husbands abi?

slowpoke

Dorcasdaduchess said...

hmmm well its just the beginning o!

@BOBO_EDO said...

I sincerely feel your pain... You have to tell God about it... Pray.... The heart of a king is in God's hands... Quit telling people about it and pray sincerely to God expecting God to turn things around for good... You'll be fine!!! Pele!

@BOBO_EDO

Emjay said...

Divorce??? No gurl,don't let dat be an option,sit him down and ask him calmly, wat u are not doing right,why is he cheating ,don't forget dat many kneeling in prayer to God will do a lot

#######LIB MY BAD HABIT########

Anonymous said...

Men r meant to cheat, it runs in their blood, even Pastors if not for d grace of God. Most of them does shaa. I blamed u for going thru ur Husband's fone bcos what u don't know won't hurt u. Anyways jst 3weeks after ur wedding is to short for him to do dat. Jst continue praying for him. Pele, shit happens

Unknown said...

Its shows he was already cheating on you right before he married you.I dnt think he's ready to quit it now,all you need is prayer.
FACE OF LIB

Kovita said...

The real question is didnt u knw abt this cheating nature of your husband cos after just 3 weeks after marriage he is cheating...i believe dis side of him would have been GLARING but u probably ignored it.

CrEtIn said...

AWWWW...SORRY SWEETIE!!...sex for men is just physical, a man could be in "love' and still be hitting a side chic.....marriage is complicated, and depending on a mans discipline/religious beliefs.sticking to 1 sex partner doesnt just cut it....there is always some1 out there with a bigger boob, tighter ass...bigger asszz...etc, once you are on the highway of cheating.there is usually no comebacks.its a long slippery windy road that leads to hurt/disappointm3ent/sickness/divorce/death etc...., major reason females cheat in marriage is usually cos of lack of sexual satisfaction...while men could cheat for any reason at all..BOREDOM, LACK OF SEXUAL SATISFACTION/ no reason at all etc..lol

Bosslady said...

Mmmmm, Men! Don't leave him yet dear, try and make it work, don't lose him to the other girl, men will always be men!

Unknown said...

3 weeks after wedding ke....mehn dats way too much ooo...r u sure d man even really loved u dat much Cus even if he wanted to cheat sef..he wld have waited till years after...it's so obvious he has been cheating wif d girl even b4 u got married ....I wldnt advice u to go for a divorce ooo Cus it's for better for worse...he choosing to marry u over d other girl means u still have d upper hand....talk it out wif him and let him knw there is room for change ....

miss p said...

miss lib reader. i think it gets worse. i wonder how you never saw traces of this during your time together. however, i can not blame you. men can be sneaky(and women too). i would hope that you pray to God for His help and mercy. infidelity is the only reason that a person can divorce their spouse. i am however, not in support of it. i know what my parents separation is doing to me. and if you are a christian, you can not get re-married after you divorce. well that is what the bible tells us. but apparently that is not what we practice nowadays. i wish you all the best and pray that your husband changes.

Anonymous said...

that means ,he is already a cheat, my dear divorce is dont the best solution. try and stop picking or going thru his phone in order to avoid breaking of ur home.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm..... JUST 3WKS AFTA, WHY MARRY IF U CANT STAY AWAY FRM OTHER LADIES.......... MEN ZTHO
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.ZB

Anonymous said...

what's your business picking his calls? more heartache awaits you if u dont stop. Even when he forgets it at home, pretend it isn't there. I stopped and I am at peace!

Anonymous said...

Divorce is not d best choice here, dear. Talk to God in prayers.

Anonymous said...

Statistics have shown that hollywood romance movies/novels/latina soap operas increases women expectations on love...... Am more like shocked dt u are saying this-lyk wow a Nigerian husband cheating on his wife??have never seen or heard dt before.....You should be more worrried if he aint using protection#cheEzyjayne

Steveosky 4 Real. said...

Am guessing you didn't court your husband before marriage, that way you should have known if he is the randy type. All the same talk to him and see it he feels any sort of remorse and could change.!!!

Anonymous said...

people cheat on wedding nite not to talk of three weeks

khadcool said...

u have to take things easy , no mater the circumstance , most men ar like that. visit khadijatolodo.blogspot.com

www.glowyshoes.com said...

Talk to him...dats y its not good to rush into marriage

Pls visit my shoe blog

www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

Bosslady said...

Hi dear, I know you must be feeling terrible.. but the truth is the signs have always been there. He did not "JUST START CHEATING". You probably ignored them. You can confront him and he will start hiding his phone and becoming sneaky. 3weeks is such a short time for all this wahala. Just talk to God about it but make sure ur husband knows you are aware his cheating. Let him know that henceforth he should not blame you for ur actions. Also protect urself so you don't catch herpes or all this rubbish as you do not know where his "junior" has been entering. #shikena

Anonymous said...

Thts Y courting befr marriage is essential, thts two of una palava!

Anonymous said...

usually, a man has the 'signs' and u shd notice it but then again, some guys be very coded. still, since u have seen it, my best suggestion is to confront him abt it or better yet, send the pic to yourself and then send it to him...... then wait for the response. but 3weeks sha! kilode!

Munawendy said...

I can go to sleep with peace of mind knowing that my hubby doesn't and cannot cheat on me. I am so grateful to God for that.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Akonedo Jeffrey said...

Damn --- dunno wah to say

ary said...

what a dog? 3 weeks?!!!!!!!! he didn't even let the honeymoon phase finish before he showed his true self. talk to him about it, but if I were you, I will flee now you haven't invested much to the relationship.

Mo said...

He must have been a womaniser before marriage. I can imagine what you are feeling but im sorry but 3weeks is 2 early, u must have seen some signs of this

Anonymous said...

Dearly beloved sister, you have entered wat we call 'ONE CHANCE'. On a more serious note, men are prone to cheat, if not today then maybe later. So i suggest u talk to him,and look for a way to deal with this in the future(e.g staying away from his fone). A big plus will be drawing closer to God cos even d hearts of kings are in his hands, hence He can change him. God help u.

#warrishild

Anonymous said...

E don bee for u be that.......maybe u started behaving the way u like because u r nw married to him, but let me tell, leaving your husbands house shows tht u r a coward and gives open door for the mistress to take over ur place. What am I saying in essence, stay and fight for what is yours and change from ur newly acquired bad behaviours.


XDON D DON

pretty said...

U can never take it away from men!!!it takes only prayers and grace of God to change them.so get down on ur knees and start praying for him.there is nothing else to do now except that.goodluck.

Anonymous said...

If u did ur home work well you would have discovered it before your marriage. But as they say, love is blind so i guess u well well blinded. Anyway, marriage is an eye-opener. No need for divorce, just hang in there and fight for your man.

Angie said...

You didn't state how long your courtship was; did you just meet and married him/were you an arrangee wife?..

Cheating during honeymoon?..naa!

My take on this is that he's known the girl before you, couldn't marry her because of maybe tribal issues, had to please the parents and married you.

Your duty now is to work real hard to make him forget the girl; as in, be a real wife both in bed and off bed.. Whatever it takes!

Saying you don't think you can ever let him touch you, you are heading out of that marriage.

Goodluck!


* My R1.50c comment *

Unknown said...

Sorry madam, he has been cheating even b4 d wedding. Pray for him, God will cause him to repent nd change

tofola said...

my dear, confront him men are never satisfied...
Linda biko post my comment

yaxx said...

pls take it easy, did u forced him to marry u? or did his family forced him on u? may be he didnt marry u out of love? such qts shud be running 2ru ur mind, or may be there is somtin he sees in tolu dat u dnt have, pls try n verify,,,marriage is 4 better 4 worst,,,,,,glory be to jesus

Anonymous said...

Get on ur knees dear. .if u really want your man ..God listens more to women especially wen in tears..call thunder down against the strange woman.

Unknown said...

what where u expecting!!!!!!! that he is gonna be faithful?wakeup girl,most men cheat...

be happy he was with u on ur weddn night.....lolz
men!!!! men!!! men!! i hail una ooo

Anonymous said...

hmmmm...hes cheating wt a woman on a social ntwk. If hes nt contented wt u thn y dd he marry u. U sld sit him dow and talk wt him.

Titi Sunmola said...

3 weeks is too early to start all these nonsense... Haba!

i think such guy will continue with this act and believe me, things can only get worse...

Relationship without trust is just not going to work right because i dont think you can trust that man anymore.

3weeks after marriage... you should still be sharking him like cocaine

ebube (7AF0E5F3) said...

take it easy.. still too early to breakup your relationship.. confirm what you saw to him and prick his mind.. that's all...

Unknown said...

Sorry my dear, we Men are all the same. Continue praying and stick more to ur husband, Everything ll be fine.
⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

Unknown said...

My dear, Men cheat! It is in their nature to cheat, just wave it out, and try as much as possible not go to his phone again, because you will end up hurting yourself and killing the love you have for him, pray about it and forgive him

Anonymous said...

Well its just one of those sad event of marriage..


For your relationship issues and psychological counseling halla at
Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com
Or add up on 22F5D187 for one on one conversation

Anonymous said...

It is well.

For your relationship issues and psychological counseling halla at
Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com
Or add up on 22F5D187 for one on one conversation

Anonymous said...

Your pussie must become expired in 3weeks

Esty kudos said...

Most men still keep their girlfriend (s) even after wedding. I think u shld talk to him about it. Its too early to quit. U both can work it out n make ur marriage work. Good luck.

Unknown said...

Apparently,he has been cheatin b4 u guys got married,u jst apen to av found out nw
Wuld advice u pray n seek God's face
Then 'talk'(not scream) to your husband about it.
Also ask him y he married u..
No mata wat,don't raise ur voice
Still b d best wife u cn be
I pray God b wit u.amen

Debbie Chelsea said...

Stay dere,cos once u enter no turning back my dear......

Anonymous said...

its just disheartening

CHEESSYGOODNESS said...

My sister take tins easy I knw how you feel,I hve been there .even if is 3weeks after ur wedding or a year etc a man that wants to cheat,will definitely cheat.Pls don't think abt it, leave him to God.pls don't give ursef HighBP.A man that knows his worth and his woman's Worth will never cheat on her.Thank you

Juliebabe said...

Wow!! sorry about that, i don't know why men like cheating, just go on your knees and tell God your problem, that's all i can say.

Anonymous said...

Case study. LIB Princess! Pretex4luv@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

Chai... I am sorry my dear. Remember to love him for better or worse. Believe me, all you need to do now is to keep loving him and praying for him. if you want to go too far, walk around the house naked, trust me, he would not be interested in another naked woman again.

Anonymous said...

My dear, just confront him and pray about it. Marriage nowadays isn't easy. You have issue of distrust here and there. I just dont know what to say. I actually battling with mine now. whatelse will i do after kids. Thinking of those innocent childeren is what keeps me going. When you have a serial liar and cheat combine as a husband. Somethings i wonder if the marriage institution is still deemed sacred. what happened to the marriage vow? It's only God that will save us. Talk to him and continue to pray for his repentance.

Anonymous said...

Am so sorry to read your pain n so sad 3 wiks after your wedding. .my dear my advice for is..u don't divorce your hubby cos of what happened. .u need to call upon God to handle the situation ok...Marriage is not what u over look when having troubles. .u fix it to have a better home..

JOYCHY said...

D fact remains dat he didn't start cheating 3 weeks in2 ur marriage, He has been on it.
Its really dis heartening!! Dis is just too early. He needs 2 know dat u know,(wld he be sorry or be nonchalant abt it). His response wld determine ur nxt line of action, Bring his family & urs in2 d matter>>>

Sorry Wify... Most men ain't just worth d struggle, only a few are!!!

Anonymous said...

dear u didnt do ur background check wel enof gues u saw it whil datin n u tot he wil change my Dear men dont chang wot u c is wot u get! i tink u guys shld talk ova it gudluck

Julz Cakes said...

My dear he's been cheating since before he married you. Its just bad you didn't know who you married. Well I can't advice you coz am not married. So let the married ones talk

Anonymous said...

Commit it to God almighty. Very sad tho

Anonymous said...

So simple! Get her number, send the naked picture to your phone and be quiet on this for a while.

Unknown said...

It hurts a lot,,but the call is yours to make,,irebisibrown@yahoo.com.sg

Anonymous said...

Erm welcome to the club, thank God your own is even 3 weeks after your wedding.

Is me said...

Dearie, he has been cheating before your wedding. u just didn't notice.The painful part is that this kind of cheater are difficult to stop. they sees it as norm. kpele. they are simply dogs.

Is me said...

Dearie, he has been cheating before your wedding. u just didn't notice.The painful part is that this kind of cheater are difficult to stop. they sees it as norm. kpele. they are simply dogs.

Anonymous said...

Most men that cheat's are the educated once, l call them educated illiterates, despite all this diseases that full every were they can't stick to their wives, are they not illiterate?

Unknown said...

OMG...Tongue-tied, this is so sad but you have to be careful how you handle this. Of course you have to talk to him, let divorce be your last option please... It is against everything marriage stands for. God be with you and heal your broken heart

Anonymous said...

My dear,d first thing to do is to talk 2 him,den frm there u'l kn d nxt step 2 take.

Tetsara said...

I don't wanna diss you but it's difficult! You had to wait till 3weeks after marriage to go thru his phone? Be like trouser dey wear you. So there were no tell tale signs till 3weeks after the wedding?
This is your cross, you must carry it. Declare prayer and fasting. Change happens.

CROWN said...

Congratulations, you should have seen d signs in him before marrying him... Well ask God for direction..#glo for life#

Anonymous said...

na wa o..all these men, there is God o.

Anonymous said...

My darling everyone has a cheating husband. Don't ask for a divorce he isn't a saint. Stand by him and make him who you want him to be . Prayer is the key darling patience and communication. Talk to him about it like I said talk to him not fight with him. Men are wicked in nature he might not really see it as anything than just having fun. He married you for a reason remind of that reason.

Anonymous said...

My darling everyone has a cheating husband. Don't ask for a divorce he isn't a saint. Stand by him and make him who you want him to be . Prayer is the key darling patience and communication. Talk to him about it like I said talk to him not fight with him. Men are wicked in nature he might not really see it as anything than just having fun. He married you for a reason remind of that reason.

tomisyn said...

Men and their ways.. I think you shld just have a private discussion with him,make him knw u already knw wah he's up to, ask him wah the problem is and c if der's a solution and it's somethn u can handle b4 taking any bold step

Unknown said...

Some of dem don't even end their previous affair & dey get married & continue with what dey whr doing.
Seen guys lyk dat.

Unknown said...

I could feel your disappointment. But making drastic decision may not be the best option now. Relax! Marriage needs hard work to survive and you must make up your mind to work it out. A step at a time. Find out more about his past relationships, what attracted him to those ladies, which i believe from your discussion you will be able to know what to do. Pls respond, don't react.

Anonymous said...

my dear it only gets worse...aame shit happened to me few weeks after my wedding..i was a banker who leave for work early,he brings in his lovers wen im not home .Iwas heartbrokn and thought of divorce too BUT i discoverd i was prgnant so couldnt...fast forward 4years i dont TRUST my husband at all cos of d experience then.. if he is cheating or not i dont care anymore solong as he takes care of my kids and i....i think part of d love i had 4 him died too.im busy wit my career and raising my kids.my advice isthe road ahead wont get better..if u are strong enuf to take it stay but if not and u aint pregnant, run for ur dear life. May Gods grace locate u as you make d decision

mendu oge said...

wow. its really a painful one but i believe that firstly you need to talk to him about it, try and sort things out with him but one thing is for sure, if he truly loves you, he will adjust and save your marriage.

Anonymous said...

You chose to see what you want to see b4 you got married. He has been cheating so its not new. Pray to God to help you. That's the only way out.

Unknown said...


If anyone is asking you to divorce him this soon ,then trust me such person wants nothing good for you! Wo, people accommodate more than this to sustain their homes ....ppl cheat even to their spouse face! Call and confront him in wife-manner, ask him what you both can do to work out your marriage, explain to him your dos and donts! If you leave now, you bet you dont know the worse coming.! Stay glued to your marriage and work it out.

Goodluck!

@dbeautyofdalord said...

It's such a shame considering the fact that your wedding is just 3 weeks, prayers, perseverance and patients is what you need, it's well

Anonymous said...

He did not just start cheating 3 weeks after your wedding, he has been cheating even before you married him. All I can say is, pray hard. God changes difficult situation.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear! U need a hug right now,so sad...seriously,he's ur husband & is for beta/worse,do talk thing ova wit him,ask him wat it is ur not doing right,find out stuffs in a polite way;there are really many ways to kill a rat but plz don't start a fight,it won't help. God's grace dear

Anonymous said...

experienced sometin similr to urs some months after my wedding, i threatened to leave his house; infact come and see wahala dat day. He had to bring his mum to settle evritin and since den he has learnt his lesson. Pray and confront him.

Anonymous said...

You refused to see him cheating while you were dating. So don't think he just started bcos of wat u did or didn't do. Pray to God to guide you. That's the only way out.

Lorraine said...

The alarming rate at which men cheat these days. They don't even respect the so-called honeymoon phase. I thank God that there are still a few men who are God fearing and respect the institution of marriage. I pray God blesses me with one of such. #NotByPower.

ROMAN-REIGNS said...

Just confront him and talk to him calmly,tell him how u feel and how hurt u are.His respose will show u who he really is.Note:ur hussy has been having affair b4 ur wedding. Probably u over trusted bcos of what he told u.Women whether u are in a relationship or married develop four eyes,if possible used bleach water wash ur eyes.Men matter na SOKOTO. Oooo

Anonymous said...

you must have seen traces of him being a cheat before you walked down the aisle with him and believed he will change after taking you to the alter,but that is not possible.you have to live with what you have.

Anonymous said...

Go and fuck ur husband and get that butch out of his mind instead of acting like a fool already.....u won't let him touch u ke....ur loss

Anonymous said...

Oh dear! U need a hug right now,so sad...seriously,he's ur husband & is for beta/worse,do talk thing ova wit him,ask him wat it is ur not doing right,find out stuffs in a polite way;there are really many ways to kill a rat but plz don't start a fight,it won't help. God's grace dear

Unknown said...

Divorce d idiot, hw can he b callin her d same pet name he calls u. Meanin he can also 4ck her on ur matrimonial bed. Also,even if it is in his blood 2 cheat, its 2 early 2 cheat on u jst 3wks after ur weddin. Dnt he feel sumtin 4 u? He's a looser, u deserve a better man lyk me. Sori if I said dat, but its a fact.

Obed peter said...

It's amazing still seeing him as husband material but talk to him and see what happens good luck.

Unknown said...

Is shocking regarding wat u are experince just 3 weeks in2 your marriage,my dear my candid advice for you is 2 tk d problm 2 God pray 4 him, and dat yell or nag @ him cos in doing u so u will drive him futher away,if is possible wen approaching him @ abt d problm do so in a cool manner and remind him he is wrecking d 3weeks old marriage and tell him u pray God will guide him and lead him 2 wise decisions bt my dear never yell or shout @ him.. Always pray

Anonymous said...

U re not to deep into d marriage, no kids, probably no shared property. Pls pick ur bags and leave, because cheating niggas don't ever change.

Anonymous said...

My dear God will help you, dat is just a small tin, the best is yet to come. My advise to you is just to ignore his phone don't touch or even read any of his message, cos dat is depression NO 1, pray to God to touch his heart, just too early for you to be goin tru such. if u check n check u will see more dan dat, so the best tin to to forget about checkin his phone n focus on your goals. God will help you IJN.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

So sorry your challenge in marriage is starting early but the truth is that, He has been cheating on u even before you two got married.. My Advice to u is that,you should play your part as the only legalized woman(before God n man)in his life..you could confront him, but in a subtle manner n be there fore him. Not allowing him touch you, will only push him to her the more. Pray for him more. It is well and be Strong!

mercy said...

take everything to God in prayers

Anonymous said...

you cant really talk to anyoe cos they cant change the situation at all- inlaws friends will only sympathize wit u but they dont have d solution. Men are dogs and it is in their nature to cheat...if you can supprlort urself and aint pregnant..dont compromise ur happiness as his cheating will only get worse.confront him and see his response and attitude towards u. marriage isnt about love alone. u need to trust him as well. if you cant, better find your way cos d road wont be easy ifu stay. cheer up

sisiclara@yahoo.com said...

Geez dats too sudden..am sure in d heat of dat rage i'll tie him to d bed n torture his destiny!...wot manner of heart break 4 goodness sakes!

Everlasting Joy said...

Dayum, I feel for you. But instead of crying and thinking of divorce go and take ur own sexy pic and send am to him while he's @ work. Babes be thinking b/c they've married the man they can now relax. Shebi u now know he wants Tolu to send sexy pics of herself, do ur own and make sure yours pass hers well well. Get your inner Kim K on and remember just cus you're the wife, he still wants you to act the mistress at times. Good luck ma!

Anonymous said...

well, some marriages are like that. you need to know some basics.
1) the affair probably started before you got married and he cant stop.
2)you are his wife now, you cant leave him because of another woman, he is yours, use your position.
3) God hates divorce so do not even think it.
YOUR ONLY OPTION- PRAY until you get a change. ALSO let him know you know, tell him how it makes you feel cos some men just feign ignorance. let him know.
pele God will sustain your marriage for you.
darmiebrandy2000@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

my dear this is just d beginning of worse to come!i tell u.
that ur hubsband doesnt love you o
if he did he wont cheat! yes. 3 weeks after ur weddin, u pple are stil on honeymoon phase.
better leave him oh! or does he have plenty money? console urself with d money and live ur life.
i hate cheaters. if i catch my partner cheatn then we are done. that is all

Anonymous said...

Yes darling it does get worse. He will beg and promise to change but once a cheat always a cheat. 3weeks into marriage? Common!

Anonymous said...

run for your life, a cheat will forever be a cheat..... CRAVE

Zamani said...

Men sha...cheaters. Women cheat too sha. Divorce o bcos he'll neva stop.

Anonymous said...

Divorce d murder fuker as soon as possible........his a bastard,he has no single respect for marriage vows,...if u don't divorce him now,be ready to endure more,cos his going to do it over and over again.

Anonymous said...

Most women dont lyk to face d truth dat men are bound to cheat whether at d early stage of ur marriage or later stage. it will surely happen. well dat means ur husband had d relationship going on b4 u both got married. Dont get angry, sit him down, go on ur knees nd talk to him dat its too early to cheat nd dat if he wants to he shldnt let u see traces of any sex escapades. Dere is a reason he got married to u cos he culd have married d lady in question. So take things cool nd calm nd pray abt. uhmmmm dnt deny ur husband is ryt no mata wat else u send him out more. ladies pls ur man wld always cheat, even usher, sunday skool teacher will cheat. so face d fact.

Kampala1 said...

Nw thats a bahd one from ur husband..My advice to u dear is nt to jump into divorce coz it wont do u no good,,i tink both of u can still work tins out,he loved u and thats y he married u,,cheating is jst like an organ in men(i hav to confess that tho)..The best tin to do nw is to converse..Tnk u.

LIB Kritik.

Anonymous said...

Get out while its still early. It won't stop.

Unknown said...

No comment..#walksaway#

pearl gold said...

Sorry dear u can change him dnt even talk to him abt it just pray for him dnt let him touch u o ebola z on d air change room buh still give him food n behave normal. Welcum to marriage stress! He loves u dat y he chose u instead of her so dnt panic

Anonymous said...

hmmm, 3 weeks after marriage is too early,talk to him and let him know what u saw,see his reaction if he feels sorry,let him know u would let this one pass but u would not accept such ever again,the next time u catch him/.he does that,marriage ended even if kids already present.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes what pushes a man into cheating is beyond what you explain in the physical, my candid advise, is that, is better to hire an enemy because he has a lot to prove than a friend who is susceptible to envy and jealousy. Save your marriage by working with your husband, he have hurt you greatly, but if you forgive him, he will feel indebted to you and has a lot to prove to you - his desire not to repeat it.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to tell u this, don't ever make d mistake of not allowing him to touch u as this will give room for him to be more closer to Tolu. This is d time u need to be sexually active and romantic, catch him unaware, give it to him anywhere in d house.

Anonymous said...

U be ikpu.... DONT u knw dat he cheats b4 u marry him? Abeg if u dear divorce him u have made away for the lady 2 come in. Its better u stand up and fight 4 ur right.... if u mumu leave him another lady will mumu come in. Bracket said... No Time ooo

Anonymous said...

It is really sad and ugly! There is no faithful man out there EXCEPT you want to stay single....Talk to him about it, forgive him IF you can and move on....

God bless your union!

Anonymous said...

This remind of Telemundo's 'Cruel Love'. Really don't know what to say...but I pray God directs your heart to do what's right and if you truly love each other, may He help him to change.

Anonymous said...

Just cool down,put your self together and let him see reason maybe he will change,but its too early to start thinking of divorce

Anonymous said...

No divorce is too early talk to him #bright bravo#

Unknown said...

Ask 4 a divorce already. I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***

Anonymous said...

wow..so sorry for ur pain dear..but the thing is,ur hubby prolly was cheating all tru ur relationship..u nid to confront him and settle it..u cant always seek divorce at every turn in marriage..its for better for worse..men are like babies..wen they mess up we clean up their mess..

injo said...

Yea, it could seem as if He messed up an all....buh remember they r just pictures an I'm very sure wen confronted, he will be sober an change. It coulda been worse, for real!

Anonymous said...

My dear he never stopped cheating. you just didn't notice.

Anonymous said...

FOR better for worse.....you didnt find out much about him before getting married.

Anonymous said...

1st of all dear, start praying cos its the key to evry problem then each time u see such thing in his phone don't close the page just leave it like that for him to know that u know what is happening around u also, never confront him about it, be nice to him all time, play along with him, he will be more scared that u know and not doing anything about it. Take hrt dear. Bia linda stop removing my name o. Lvlylady

Anonymous said...

awww sorry. my motto in life is 'all men cheat'so leave room for that so u wont get disappointed ok.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you know of his love for women before you married him? You were desperate to marry and believed he will change. Welcome to the real world. They don't change. It will get worse. Every two months, go to the hospital to check for STIs and HIV. Brace yourself though, house girl will born for him.

Anonymous said...

which one be already cheating after 3weeks, dnt u no he was cheating b4 marriage. i am sure u knew he was cheating b4 yhr wedding bt thinking he will change. A cheat will always be a cheat infact do the thing monday - sunday it does nt stop him, take it or live.
My advise is dt u've to"GBA KA MU" meaning is yhr cross!

Anonymous said...

He does not respect his marriage vows, you should pack and leave and secure the evidence you found

Anonymous said...

which one be already cheating after 3weeks, dnt u no he was cheating b4 marriage. i am sure u knew he was cheating b4 yhr wedding bt thinking he will change. A cheat will always be a cheat infact do the thing monday - sunday it does nt stop him, take it or live.
My advise is dt u've to"GBA KA MU" meaning is yhr cross!

Anonymous said...

which one be already cheating after 3weeks, dnt u no he was cheating b4 marriage. i am sure u knew he was cheating b4 yhr wedding bt thinking he will change. A cheat will always be a cheat infact do the thing monday - sunday it does nt stop him, take it or live.
My advise is dt u've to"GBA KA MU" meaning is yhr cross!

niffyt said...

Guys of nowadays with no fear of God. Na wah oooooooo

Anonymous said...

Hmmm,am sure he has been dating her b4. Ur wedding. But not 2 wori dear der are ways such issues are handled. 98percent men cheats but their are ways to curb then without quarrels that is if u truly love ur man. U need to get him back.b4 it gets worst. Inbox me ur mail Addy let me send u a few steps u should take. Kartdammie@gmail.com

tfreezo said...

Eeya...dat guy is an A*SHold

Anonymous said...

which one be already cheating after 3weeks, dnt u no he was cheating b4 marriage. i am sure u knew he was cheating b4 yhr wedding bt thinking he will change. A cheat will always be a cheat infact do the thing monday - sunday it does nt stop him, take it or live.
My advise is dt u've to"GBA KA MU" meaning is yhr cross!

Tessa said...

Sweetie
You need to talk
Those are some of the weaknesses you did not discover before marriage.
Talk to an older couple who can send you for some counselling.
He has a problem with porn.
The sweet names, it's not personal, that is the road to satisfy his lower nature.

Are you born again? You need God. You need the Holy Ghost. You need supernatural power.

Make decisions!

Grow up. This is marriage. You need to start protecting you and your family. You have an active enemy in the devil.

Anonymous said...

Sorry dear dats men for u,they can never stop being men,but I advice u take it easy,call him and ask him some question and see wat his reply will be den u know wat to do

Unknown said...

Take hrt woman.... All men are cheats! Just get him a 'cd' and plead with him to use it often when hanging with Tolu.

Unknown said...

Pls do not be confused. Go to God in prayers. It's the devil that makes men cheat on us. I'm a living witness that prayer works. God will change his heart if you don't relent in your prayers and you also live a holy life and be committed to God's work. Divorce is no option. Marriage covenant is for lifetime. Remember even if you decide to divorce him on grounds of adultery, you're not permitted to remarry if you're a christian woman.read Rom7: 2-3.
May God comfort you.

Unknown said...

Didn't u pple before getting married. I don't understand u self. Anyway men are naturaly polygamous in nature.

Anonymous said...

which1 be already cheating after 3weeks,dnt u no e was cheating b4 marriage.I am sure u knew e was cheatn b4 yhr wedding bt thinking he 'll change.A cheat 'll alwys be a cheat infact do d thing mondy - sundy it does nt stop him, take it or live.My advise is dt u've to"GBA KA MU"meaning is yhr cross!

Anonymous said...

Faulty foundation. How did you marry him? You covered your eyes to his cheating because you wanted to be a Mrs. Start praying.

Iya Lola said...

awww...so sad....prayer is the key ooo,except u wanna walk out

Unknown said...

My dear is not a new thing, u married a cheat, just manage him like dat, and keep praying for him. Remember for better for worse.

Anonymous said...

Well my dear, talk to him... Speak your mind and be honest. Hopefully he wld have a change of heart... Don't forget to pray for him too.

milksauce said...

He was already cheating before hi got married to u, my advice is: take him to God in prayers.

Anonymous said...

Its one of two things..though it's wrong of him.men react funny the moment they get married, there is a great shock of being 'caged' and hence react in different ways;some resort to cheating for a season. It usually passes......others handle it with more strength and resolve. But one thing is key, what you had before your marriage will probably have its effect. Take a lady who told her husband she had not had sex for 10 years, he waits the wedding night to have sex and discovered her passage way is as open as an express, how cheated do you expect him to feel? There's always two sides to the story.Unfortunately most of us in Nigeria marry out of compulsion.THE GREMLIN HAS SPOKEN!

OMG!WOMAN said...

This are the men we have now, you cant chang him, so dont even be on about that, forgive him, stay maried and focus on your self... its sad that most men have differnt reasons for marrying this days asides love, most do just for procreation..

Man Of God said...

that is devilish! u need to pray for him

Anonymous said...

pls dear it is unfortunate that it happened but dont let it destroy your newly born home

Anonymous said...

men will always be men oo my sista. Take heart, keep the faith and enjoy ur marriage by playing ur part as a good wife. bless u

Unknown said...

madam don't think of divorcing him. men do it but u can make him stop it. 1st let him know u knew about his cheat, 2ndly don't put up a fight with him, just be more friendly with him and don't ever avoid him sex. make sure u have sex with him twice or 3 times a week, i bet u, he'll be so tired of seeing the other lady. take my advice and u'll have enough reason to smile again.

Anonymous said...

Well you're married and you can't leave your home for anoda woman. Just talk to him about it. You'll learn to forgive.

Anonymous said...

Your husband didnt just start. My dear this is who he has always been. I wish you the very best.

MACBOOK said...

Stupid men all around Nigeria some Nigerian men are so foolish yes am a man but I have to stand and say it Nigerian men are nothing to ride home about.. Why getting married when you know your not done with playing around? Marriage indeed

Anonymous said...

My dear, if u don't let him touch you then he will get it elsewhere. Ladies avoid handling your man's phone else u get yourself in trouble.

Anonymous said...

do not chicken out,commit him to God,and you would be surprised what God can do.there are always temptation at the beginning of most marriages,it depends on how you handle it.pray to God with faith and your problem is solved.

Anonymous said...

Only God can intervene... #call me indigenous lib# v_okunola@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

My dear I will advice that you call your husband and tell him that you know all that is happening, then try and talk meaning to him and see what his reply will b. I wish you the Best.

Anonymous said...

Trust me u knew dis guy was a cheat b4 u married him but u chose 2 answer mrs by all means thereby forgetting dat ur happiness matters a lot, there's nothing u can do than pray 4 him or divorce him

Idi said...

Buh babe U cnt tell me u din knw he was a chronic womernizer b4 u decided to marry him.U prolly tot u cud change him...U ve to manage him and stop goin thru his fone so u can live long.and be praying for him

Anonymous said...

Linda wey u dey complain to dey find who go get the confidence to put her for house,u wey get luck see person wey put for house wan comot,bcos of nude picture u see for his phone.U can leave him so the girl who sent him d nude pics can win d race n replace u,anu mpama.

Anonymous said...

It happens and that's the reason we have a lot of divorce stories. I see cheating as wat men can't do without. In my ten years of marriage, I have caught my husband pants down with girls more than thrice and all he does is apologise. My hubby is a good man but his weakness is women even though he acts changed since this year. Nothing is impossible wt God. Divorce is not always the answer, u vowed to stay for better for worse. Ask God for the grace. Talk to ur husband and let him know u are highly disappointed in him and how much he disgusts you, that will make u feel better.

Bianca Bruno said...

Sorry.
It is well.
Men never cease to answer their name

ogechukwu said...

sweetheart,i feel ur pain..especially when you are faithful...but i want you to know that men cheat, they are easily moved by what they see..and sometimes pressures from friends..but i will indulge u not to look on to divorce as a way out..i believe soo much in the prayers of a faithful wife..you have all it takes to bring him back home...just look within..May the good lord help you to overcome this...Ameeeen

Anonymous said...

If u are a christian this is time to pray 99.9 of men cheat if u leave dis home u will start over again, if it also happen in your next hom God big dat is after u av spent like 3 or more years to recover al to find yr self in d sam situation. U will stil have to leave, so my advice is u check your attitude if u av issues to work on to help improve your marriage n also pray we'll 4 your home, u might also need to study your husband and met his needs in bed n fud with other little attitude adjusment if need be. Pray so u don't pray

Anonymous said...

My dear im married nd I'll give u my best advice which is "Let him know u saw what u saw then hear what he has to say nd let him end his relationship with the girl in ur presence by calling her nd u speaking to the girl too to leave him alone then u pray. Tolu might not be the only girl so the earlier you start praying, the better. Do not deny ur husband ur body nd treat this issue in a very matured way he'll respect you for that.

Anonymous said...

My dear! I surgest u talk to ur hubby abt it,cos its too early for dat,bt d truth is dat he neva stop cheatin on u,all d wile so is nt like he jst started,my dear jst pray for him pahaps he might change bcos wit God all tinz r possible

Anonymous said...

My dear,you dont need to loose your mind over this,tell you what,men are born cheats and they can never stop,pls don't be too hard on your self,you need to confront him and take it easy when you talk and hear him out,you are already married and you have to make your marriage work,stay blessed,sandy berry

Anonymous said...

Calm down my dear we are prone to cheating, I'm a married man too n I cheat sometimes but dat doesn't mean I have a thing for ladies outside. I luv my wife so much but thing is in all men, we just have to do it but we must not get carried away.

SVC said...

Dear take ıt easy with hım.. Talk to hım about it and i know defınıtely he will gıve u ân excuse Maybe the gırl, is the öne after hım. Just let hım know how you Feel and put hım in prayers.. IT İŞ WELL

Unknown said...

The foundation of the marriage matters actually... U sha can't ignore such serious mata in this ebola period biko!!talk to ur husband don't ignore the incident!!!

Anonymous said...

Easy woman... take tis to God in prayer and hold thy peace... don't push it too hard

PAVOUR said...

my sis let him know of what you have seen and let him explains. it could be they have been dating for long, its an opportunity for you to finally put an end to it. understand how u feel. sorri dearie. pavour@gmail.com

Unknown said...

WELL ITS TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO START CHEATING...SEARCH WITHIN UR HEART IF U CANT DO WITHOUT HIM AND IF HE REALLY CARES AND RESPECTS U...THEN DO NOT GET A DIVORCE IT WONT HELP MATTERS,RATHER GET DOWN ON UR KNEES AND PRAY GOD ANSWERS ALL..I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE CHEATED ESPECIALY WEN U FEEL ITS ONLY U..TAKE HEART SWEETHEART MEN MUST REMAIN DOGS..THE ARE ALL THE SAME.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a wife neither am I a lady but I will give you my own piece of advice. I'm sure you must have caught/suspected him with other babes while you were still dating. The girl in question is definitely one of his old timers and not a new catch, it will take him some time to accept he's "married" and gradually phase out those excesses. Try and tolerate him, pray together and choke him with sex, lots of it :). Discussing it with him now will only make him smarter and start to password his phones or auto-delete chats and pictures.

SunnyBriggs. said...

Brace urself dear for it gets worst. Sorry to bust ur bubble. Advice, take a stand now. Check urself if it's the life u want or not. Don't live the rest of your life sad. Do what makes you happy.

Anonymous said...

This is sad and funny at the same time. Calm down. Shows u don't know ur husband. He should have gotten rid of his pololos.

Anonymous said...

So sorry sweet,, you are in already, divorce is the only alternative, probably you didn't study him so well before you move into marriage with him, I suggest you confront him. But once a cheat will always be a cheat. Maybe he didn't like the way you give it to him.

Duttyman !!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady, your husband was already cheating before you got married. You just didn't know it and that's the whole truth. However, you can pretend that it only started recently, give him a chance to explain, plead with you and tell you he will change and guess what he learns to hide it better. Let me tell you what's worse is he probably even promises her that very soon he will also marry her. The true solution to your problem is for only you to decide because no amount of advice will give you the real answer. You have to go with your heart and if you can deal with it, then deal. If you're not able to, then leave.

Anonymous said...

I av had 1 cos I knw dey are headache bt b4 filin a divorce u guys nid to sit down nd tlk, u guys tuk dat oat on d altar for beta or worse til death do us part.


MZ G

Anonymous said...

That's y dating is important...u won't say u dated him for a while n didn't notice he cheats....u will jus ve to manage pray for him..dere is absolutely nothing u cn do abt it.unless u wnt a divorce

Unknown said...

Take heart honey, but is ur call on whatever u want to do

missy said...

hmmmmmmm.....dats so sad....but I think the signs of him cheating on you was clear but you weren't just sensitive and observant to notice all that before the wedding.....on the other hand it could be that he's already tired of you(you no longer interest him)...seeking for a divorce is just to early...try and talk to him and also seek God's face in this matter

Anonymous said...

Hello, I had such experience I just got married and pregnant not up to a year now and I caught my husband cheating on me too.

Was angry at first. Infact I actually left the house for 3days but i later though of every thing. Went back home.

My advice to you dear is that you need to talk to your husband and pray about it. It worked 4 me. As the saying go marriage is 4 better or worse

Unknown said...

truth is he had been cheating on u all these while,
you saw the signs,
you ignored them all in a bid to get married.
now u are married and u r acting all surprised?
bitch please.....

Anonymous said...

My dear, there must have been signs you ignored. I am sorry this is coming up so early in your marriage but you have to manage the situation depending on the kind of man your husband is. Confront him. But know that this is just the beginning. all the best.

missy said...

hmmmm.....this husband of yours must be a street dog.....gosh.....some men are just to evil

Anonymous said...

I'm a bloke that like gals, but I neva lie 2 em...how beasty, inconsiderate and plain heartless some men can b. Don't even kno how 2 advice u ma'am...God help u.

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